50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
"fight me you bitch"
fucking dinosaurs got this
my anaconda don’t
When you crack your knuckles you hurt the skeleton inside you
Good, the skeleton needs to know that I am the alpha and I am in control.
Break your own bones to establish dominance over skeleton.
when the whole squad thicc as hell
THERE IS SUCH A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THE EDUCATION SYSTEM WHEN STUDENTS ARE IN TEARS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT AND WAKE UP EVERY SINGLE MORNING WANTING TO THROW UP AT THE THOUGHT OF GETTING OUT OF BED WHILE THINKING THAT THEY’D RATHER BE DEAD THAN GO TO SCHOOL
eleven thousand people can relate to this post. that’s not okay.
aquariums are one of my favorite places to be
this made me really calm for no reason at all
I love the aquariums